November 12, 2019 81



Well, it is a little bit quiet here. HEY!!! Hello, everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome to Alphabet Lane, now believe it or not, and I know it’s hard to believe, judging by Cookie Monster leering at you with that brilliant smile of his, but I believe that this is a Sesame Street horror game. Just a demo, mind you. And it may look like ass, I don’t know, but the whole concept of having – ooh. Doesn’t look like as much ass as I thought it might! But the whole concept of having… the characters of Sesame Street.. chasing and murder- Character: *sigh* I just gotta find my keys. Oh. Alright, then. I’ll do that. I was in the middle of talking about this game and how it was weird that Sesame Street might be comin’ to kill me. Ooooh, maybe this game looks a bit more like ass than it thought it did, but I won’t let that dissuade me. I gotta find my keys. Wherever they may be. Are they in the fridge? Do I do tha- oooh. Hello? The hell was that? Oh! What the hell?! *high-pitched noises* when did that open?! Oh, man the walk is SO slo- ooh. Cookie Monster?! Have you come to claim me? Ohhh noooo. I don’t have annyyy cookies. Oh NO are you gonna munch on mee? Ooh. Well then. That’s a little bizarre. That’s why I believe I have a light shining from my head. That’s a little weird… *inhale* *wtf* *what is going on* *nope* *the fuck is that* *bro look* *do you see this?* *moose noise* *more moose* EXCUSE me? Is tha- that’s all the response I can muster to this. Uh. Pardon-a-moi, are you washing your- *what* *gross eating noises* *confused Mark* *disgusted Mark* Okay. I’m gonna ignore the fact that the- ewkay. I’m gonna ignore the fact that this looks like the Play-Doh character eating cookies.. Imma get closer to this, why not. I need to get some close ups on this a- *more moose noises* Ooooooooooo- KAY? Character: I need to find my keys. I need to- did I die?! What?! Oh, okay. Alright, then, I guess I go-I guess I- I guess what I’m s’posed to do is NOT go near the giant Cookie Monster. Is that what I’m supposed to get out of all of this? Well, I wonder what’s happenin’ over here. Huh! Oh. The door. Has been blasted open. I did not notice that. You keep eating, friend! Just gonna go over here. Eeh. Alright, then. What am I gonna do in here, shit myself? Or try not to shit my- whoa I found my keys. Ha! Well, that’s all I meant to do this whole time! Better just, ya know, skedaddle on outta here. I don’t wanna run, don’t wanna startle him. You have fun there. Ewh, don’t look at me. Don’t you dare, alright, yeah you’re havin’ a good time. *spooped* Alrighty, then. Yay, all my cookies are gooooone. Where the hell did I gooo? I’m fuckin’ OUTTA heeerrree!!!! Get outta my way. Oh, man. Hope Big Bird doesn’t come stompin’ down the hallway next. Uh. Help! “Loading. This may take awhile.” Why? Ohp, nope! Radio: Today is the ten year anniversary of the death of the Alabama Cutter, Radio: the infamous serial killer being shot down at the Alphabet Lane Studio. *not buying this shit* Whaatt? Radio: It’s also the day the Cutter aired episode seventeen *very confused* Radio: -puppeteering the- Radio: -kids starred- Okay, then! Character: Here I am.. and they’re not here? Character: Maaaybe they’re inside. Sure. Ya know what? Why not. Imana susen- suspend my disbelief here.. about there being a crazed murderer in Alphabet Studios.. *burp* and just assume that this is all gonna go according to plan, and everyone… is just okay with this. And I’m okay with there being a ravenous Cookie Monster in my own kitchen. Ooh. Oh. Is this a- why are they chained up? Why are they chained up? This doesn’t seem very kid-show-friendly. Oh, good, an axe, I’ll take that. *pitiful* hi-yah! Can I swing-swang my axe? Can I swinggity-swaong? Okay, I’ll just follow the green lights then, don’t worry about me. Lalala Lalalae. Oh. Whoaaaaa. I did good. Well, I can’t s- can’t see shit! *mumbles* Well, that’s good, I think, okay, here we go. HEY! HOOOKAY, WOW, alright, then, didn’t expect that to actually be happening. And I can’t believe I was scared by that. Fuck, dude. *omg* *what* *why* Wha- what kinda decrepit bullshit kid’s show production studio is this? The fuck was that Uh hey hoh no, oh noo. Okay. Yeah, just take your time on that one don’t worry about the speed. Oh. The Swedish chef. *tries to Swedish* Is he comin’ for me a da myurdafryu *tries to Swedish more* *more fake Swedish* Oh He heard me makin’ fun of him! He’s gonna come AFTER ME. Maybe not. Maybe so. I dunno. Which way’s he gonna go *louder fake Swedish* Uh boy. Oh boy. OH boy. I can’t see shit. *sings to find way* *is still lost* Flood warning, really. Really? “In case of flood, door will not open until flood is STOPPED-” Did I do it, I guess I did it OKAY. *yells* Bye, Swedish chef, sorry I made fun of you!! Yeeh Well, it is a little bit quiet here. HEY!! *boi* Just gonna you know.. Take that one back a bit! Take that one back. *long inhale* Dunno why that happened, but OKAY. Swedish chef heard I was talkin’ shit and he came back to haunt me. *wut* GAH! Fffffffffffff At this point it’s my fault. At this point it’s my fault. At this point it’s very much my fault. Yeah hundred percent my fault, so don’t go near the vents, is what I’m learning from all this. Ooh, I see a red shiny…. *hoo boy* I dunno what that is, but I’m not turning around. That’s for damn- HEHEHEY! Is that Swedish chef just sliding across the floor on his own meatball fat?! JESUS CHRIST, okay. Uhh, “If a vent is leaking hot steam by the entrance or exit, please use an available tool to open the vent far away from the exit to flow steam fra.. the generator to your right is built..” *stops speaking English* I don’t get what that means, but I need to do some stuff with a tool. And I am the world’s biggest tool, so here we go! Alright, let’s try down here- oooh is that a tool dat I need? I think that is! Okay, so I got a tool… Ohh. Well that’s blasting a whole lot of ass-load of steam. So I gotta do a vent somewhere… away from it? I dunno what it means.. Do I hear a Swedish chef whispering here? *whoa* I’m gonna assume that’s a baaaaaad vent but here we go! It was a bad vent. *is sad* *spooped* Fucking whoa, okay then, I guess I did it! Alrighty then, I didn’t know what I did, but I did it. Fuck! Do I need to activate the regulator to be- HEYYY fucking… god dammit, that Swedish bastard. Oh! There we go! I think that did it. Okay. So I should be good now, I should just be able to go down this way… and then…. YUP! Okay, then I can go through the door, then all’s good in the world. *fake smile* Right? Yes, maybe. I don’t know. God, I actually got the sweats from some of those! It was my own fault but.. *excuse noises* AHHHHHHHW. W-h-wha-at?! *laughs* You just gonna do that?! You’re gonna throw the Swedish chef at me a few times and you’re not even give me Big Bird?! Come onnnn, I’m beggin’ for Big Bird. Gimme the biggest bird you can find! I WANT it, all over me, come on. Aw, fine. Okay, so that’s the end of Alphabet Lane, I couldn’t resist makin’ a video about this. I literally couldn’t resist! The concept was so funny to me.. and, in all honesty… it- sometimes it just jumpscares are fun, and jumpscares in the way that it’s Sesame Street characters comin’ after you.. and especially the Swedish chef comin’ after you, that’s just hilarious, so. Thank you, everybody, so much for watching, I hope you guys enjoyed this one, to the developer, don’t take anything I said offensively, I liked this, I honestly had a great time with this. Uh, it’s a silly concept, but HEY. Sometimes silly concepts need to be explored! And to see what they can do. SO, let ME know what you thought of the game down in the comments below, and let the DEVELOPER know what you thought of their game over on their game page, I’ll put a link in the description. Thanks again, and as always I will see you. In the next video. Buh-Bye!!

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