October 14, 2019 100

Generationals

Generationals


>>THREE, TWO, ONE.
>>HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY SON!>>NOW RISE AND SHINE AND GET OUT OF OUR HOUSE.
>>WHAT? BUT IT’S MIDNIGHT.
>>IT’S TIME FOR YOU TO LEAVE HOME AND GO MAKE SOMETHING OF YOURSELF. YOU’RE NOT A KID ANYMORE.
>>YEAH, LIKE AS OF TEN SECONDS AGO.>>OKAY.
>>AND DON’T COME BACK TO VISIT UNTIL YOU HAVE A FULL TIME JOB OR MARRIED
AND HAVE TWO GRAND-BABIES.>>THREE, TWO, ONE.
>>HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY SON!>>OH, WHAT THE HECK?
WHAT TIME IS IT? NOON?
I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE GOING TO LET ME SLEEP IN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
>>WE MADE YOU SOME PANCAKES AND BOUGHT YOU A NEW FLAT SCREEN.
>>OH, MY CELL PHONES BIGGER THAN THAT! TAKE IT BACK!
>>OH! OH OKAY!
>>SORRY!>>LITTLE FEISTY.
>>WELL I FILLED OUT SOME JOB APPLICATIONS FOR YOU.
ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS SIGN THEM AND I’LL GO DROP THEM OFF.
>>MOM, I ALREADY HAVE A JOB. I SELL YOUR GUYS’ STUFF ON EBAY.
>>IS THAT WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR REFRIGERATOR?>>YEAH.
50 BUCKS.>>WELL WE JUST THINK THAT MAYBE IF YOU HAD
A GIRLFRIEND YOU’D BE A LITTLE MORE MOTIVATED.
>>YEAH, I KNOW YOUR MOM REALLY HELPED ME WHEN WE WERE BOTH FULL TIME STUDENTS
WITH FOUR PART-TIME JOBS AND THREE KIDS AND–>>BLAH, BLAH, BLAH,
DAD I HAVE LIKE 500 LADY FRIENDS ON FACEBOOK. ONE OF WHICH I ALMOST MET AT THE MALL,
BUT I GOT NERVOUS SO I BOUGHT A PAIR OF 200-DOLLAR JEANS AT
THE BANANA REPUBLIC INSTEAD. SO, YEAH.
I THINK I’M DOING JUST FINE.>>WE JUST THINK IT’S TIME FOR YOU TO
HAVE A LITTLE MORE RESPONSIBILITY.
[LAUGHTER]>>YOU TALK OF RESPONSIBILITY? AND YET YOU TRY TO FEED ME NON-ORGANIC PANCAKES.
>>I’M REALLY WORRIED ABOUT THE NEXT GENERATION.>>DON’T WORRY DAD.
WE’LL BE JUST FINE.>>THREE, TWO, ONE.
SURPRISE! HUMAN SLAVE, HAPPY TENTH BIRTHDAY.
YOU MUST NOW RISE AND SERVE THE MACHINE OVERLORDS.>>I’LL SERVE THEM WITH HONOR ROBOT FATHER.
>>SURPRISE!

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