December 12, 2019 0

Advent Alphabet of Self-Care: I


Hello welcome back to my Advent Alphabet
and today we’ve reached I. After some deliberation I decided to make this
imperfection and the reason I thought imperfection is a self-care thing for
Christmas is that it’s very easy for us to get caught up in perfectionism and it
might be if we’re people who are trying to organize Christmas or perhaps we’re
trying to organize our work in order to get away for Christmas perfectionism can
be something that really holds us back. Yet if you think about it
imperfection is actually quite a helpful thing and there’s the line from the
Leonard Cohen song that says that it’s the crack that lets the light in and in
actual fact imperfection can be a really helpful thing to have in our lives.
It helps us seem more real and it helps us to connect with people but so often
we get caught up in perfectionism because we think we have to show only
our strong side to people and we think that if we’re not perfect that that
might mean that people will reject us. But if we all behave like that, we all
think like that, unfortunately no one ever really finds out that everyone else
is just like them because underneath it all we’re all imperfect aren’t we? So
I think it’s really helpful for us to actually embrace our imperfection and to
let go of that need to be perfect because the need to be perfect is such a
very hard driver for us. It causes us quite a lot of anguish. It also can
really hold us up. It really holds us back from getting on
with things and it causes us to work ourselves so hard and perhaps also to to
work others who are around us hard too, especially if they’re sort of involved
in us meeting a particular deadline. So
really what I’d like to suggest this year is that you really do try and
embrace imperfection and to remember that progress is better than
perfection, and that done is better than perfect. When we get caught up in
perfectionism all we’re doing is we’re stopping ourselves from really entering
into life and entering into true and deep connection with other people. If we
allow other people to see our imperfections they’ll probably if anything
they won’t reject us, they’d probably be slightly relieved because it means
that they can be themselves as well. It’s about knowing that inside – you might not
get everything done, you might not get everything perfect – but in actual fact
you are enough. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone. You are enough in who
you are and that means that you can relax and be yourself. When you do
that rather than having to focus on getting everything right and the worry
and the anxiety that that brings, you can actually just focus on what seems to be
perhaps more important which might be about being with other people, it might
be about working out how you want to have the best holiday that you can in
the best way that works for you. It doesn’t have to be according to anybody
else’s standards or values it’s up to you and you can make that decision
and you’ve got that freedom there because you don’t have to live up to the
expectations of others because you are good enough as you are. I hope that gives
you food for thought and I look forward to seeing you tomorrow. Bye for now

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